Strict me vs caring me, Past me vs Future me

I have been going to the psychiatrist, five sessions at the moment. Two exercises were very useful for me: Strict me vs caring me, Past me vs Future me exercises.

I told my psychiatrist that I am very strict with myself and that is making me terribly unhappy. My strict self sets this impossible tasks in front of me and tries to push me. But, in reality I can never surmount those expectations. Thus, I become unhappy.
She let me do this exercises where I sit at the right side of the couch and become my Strict self and answer questions, such as "What do you think you should do? What are your goals and desires?". The Strict me says all the requirements that I need to fulfill. After that, I sit at the left side of the couch and become my Caring self. Psychiatrist asked Caring me questions like: "How do you feel about the strict self statements and requirements? What do you want to say to the strict self?". And these questions made me realize a clear distinction between my Strict and Caring self. After this session, for a week, I was much calmer because I could spot my Strict self talking. I don't want to make the Strict self the sole self that controls my everyday actions because it has very limiting and unproven thoughts like "I have very little knowledge, I need to prepare for every single situation, otherwise I will make fool of myself" etc.

The next session she let me do this exercise called Past me and Future me. The past me was 21 years old and this is the time where I deeply hurt myself by doing rebellious things. And she asked, "What do you want to advise her?" and I advised her to accept yourself just as the way you are, to be at home and spend time to listen to your inner voice, do not take every opportunity to go out and have fun and try to escape yourself. So the psychiatrist said that 21 year old me did not know these stuff, even if she knew she did not know the consequences of those actions. She asked if I was ready to let go of my past self. And I felt like I was not ready to let her go, as though she was in the room with me. The reason I did not want to let her go is that I felt she needed love. Even though, love was available for her, she did not let it penetrate into herself and most importantly I/she did not love herself. I/she needed love more than anything especially from herself.

After this the psychiatrist, brought my future self 20 years older than me. She asked me to describe her. I described her as nature lover, made a sense of community, a definite place on earth, lives in a cottage, grows her own food, calm and happy, and a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.


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