Hardships teach us

Hardships can be in a form of illness, losing a loved one, not accepting the self and so on.
For me the past few years, I have suffered from some stomach issues, exactly in my lower right abdomen, it is where the big and small colon meet. After a Ultrasound test, they found some inflamed lymph nodes there.

On 22nd I will do gastroscopy and colonoscopy. I am afraid but hopeful for remedy of the results.

The things that this illness have taught me is immense. I have learned to accept myself, regained my self-confidence, became much more spiritual (meaning became closer to my spirit), starting to make peace with my past.

Right now, I am just floating. Floating in love and kindness. Even when stomach hurts, I take it as blessing from the universe, from god. I just listen to my stomach and try to decipher what it is trying to tell me. I believe that there are no accidents and everything is in order with cosmic unfolding, thus I have learned to surrender. I found out that surrendering is the first step of any religion or faith. By surrendering, you say "I cannot control everything. There is a higher power and I surrender my will control to this higher power". It sounds so religious but it has taken a lot of burden on top of my shoulders and allowed me to just be with the flow of life.

I don't like to use the term god, but I don't know a good word to use.

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